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“Cheryl,” I roared, “She’s practically my daughter, for fucks sake!”“She is not yer bleedin’ bottle av water,” Cheryl bellowed, “She’s ah bibe whose life yer saved as a lassie. She’s bleedin’ wanted yer for years. If yer disappear it ‘ill bleedin’ kill ‘er!”“Bottle of water?” I retorted, “What’s a fucking bottle of water got to do with this?”She was turning bright red, by this point, and she slapped me backhand across the face so hard I fell on the floor. I tasted blood where her knuckle cut me. I was stunned.“Yer bleedin’ lass!” she stormed at me, “Yer are gonna take de trip yer keep promisin’ ‘er, or cor blimey Oi’ll kill yer before yer deh! Yer are such a selfish preck sometimes. Oi put up wi’ al’ av it. Oi understan’. Oi luv yer ta death. But Oi ‘ill in me rin’ let yer ‘urt dat lassy! Oi picked ‘er up from de groun’ an’ yer, Bejasus damnit, are not gonna clod ‘er back down again!”I was having the fear of god put into me. This wasn’t just an annoyed Cheryl. This was a mother bear. ) “Girls,” muttered Charlie under his breath, “so irrational and hysterical. If only she’d just take my advice and give up smoking, there’d be no problems, would there?” It briefly crossed Charlie’s mind that he had “had strong words” with her before she left – but “if she has any sense, she’ll get over it, the silly girl.” Besides, she’d promised him an assfuck with all the trimmings this evening – and it would be very bad form if she didn’t provide.He heard the front door open and shut downstairs. “Ah, good, at last,” he thought to himself, calling out: “You home, Trace? What about my fuck? I’ve been waiting all day!” There was silence. Charlie thought little of it, and kept working. “Bills, bills, bills…” he muttered, sifting through the papers on his desk.After a minute, he called again: “Trace?” There was silence. Charlie shrugged, and went back to his paperwork.A few minutes later, Charlie got up, opened the office door, and called again, “Tracy?”“I’m in here, babe,” came a.
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